For today’s blog, I will give you a new weight-loss exercise. No, no, I haven’t forgotten that THIS blog is about Thailand. This is a Thai exercise routine. It must be performed in the middle of the night. Follow these instructions carefully:
First jump up from bed, screaming and beating your body. This is very good for the circulation. Jump around and yell until everyone is thoroughly awake. Grab the gallon jug of vinegar and begin weight lifting. Lift and pour onto the streams of ants. Take a broom and begin to vigorously sweep ants out the room. This is more effective if you jump and stomp and yell during the process.
Pull out all the furniture — lift and pour and sweep. Jump and stomp and yell. Move the furniture back and go to the next phase — the bed. Strip off the bedclothes and flap them outside, using as many muscle groups as possible. Keep yelling and stomping. Turn the mattresses over and sweep vigorously. Remake the bed. Continue stomping.
By this time a shower is mandatory. I recommend a Thai Pilates shower. This type has only a slow trickle of cold water. Stretch into difficult positions to get wet all over. Soap up, hold and repeat.
By the time you go back to bed, you will have lost one pound, if you are trying to lose weight — as I am. You will lose three pounds if you are trying to keep your weight up — as Paul is.
For a $100 donation I will be happy to send you a genuine Thai broom and a boxful of genuine Thai ants to make your exercise routine authentic. They will also make this routine necessary.
Seriously — we had a horrific ant invasion last night. This time they crawled into our bed and bit me until I woke up. Since I am a notoriously heavy sleeper, you can imagine how vicious this attack was. We switched on the light and saw thousands of ants of all sizes swarming over our room. We went into the routine I just described and finally got them all out.
Are you tired of hearing about ants? I am tired of ants — period! But they are just a minor nuisance. They aren’t nasty like roaches or poisonous like fiddleback spiders. And they aren’t important.
We do have some much more serious issues going on. We fear we have lost our houseparents for the children’s home. Se Bat and Se Me left — for Burma we suppose. He mentioned wanting to take a week off to go to the New Year Celebrations. All of their things are gone from their house here, so we have to assume they aren’t coming back. Even worse, Se Bat is pastoring two churches. If he stays in Burma, working with his brother as he said he might do, that will leave two more churches with no pastors. One of them is the troubled group where the ousted heretical pastor and his family keep trying to steal from the church. (They stole the pulpit and all the chairs and wrote graffiti on the walls.) It’s not safe to leave that church without a pastor!
The other church is at tiny Pa Tong Eh, high in the mountains. We are praying that there is just a minor misunderstanding which can be corrected.
On a more positive note, we had a good group for the ladies’ Bible study yesterday. And the lady who broke down weeping over her misspent life at the last study was back again. They practiced singing all morning until Brother Anond could get here to translate for us. The lesson had to be short because he had an appointment to translate for someone at the hospital, but short is good. I have the unusual experience of running out of things to say before my listeners are tired of hearing me! The ladies always seem surprised when I finish, expecting me to keep going much longer. Maybe it’s because they don’t have television that their attention span is much longer than ours in the U.S.
Also in the encouraging news department: Bro. Anond spoke at length last night to three of the men who were concerned about their souls. Two of them, Isa and Hen-A-Ri are in my English class. Please pray for them! In spite of troubles and tribulations and disappointments — that’s what the mission is all about. Eternity and souls. (Note added Wed. morning: I just saw the kids off to school. What a precious bunch! They are worth any amount of hardships. And they went off to school dressed and combed and fed, so the situation isn’t desperate — only challenging.)
Prayer requests:
*For Bro. Anond as he deals with all these disheartening issues.
*For pastors to be raised up SOON.
*For Se Bat, that he might return.
*For faithful workers in the children’s home who will love the children and diligently care for them.
Blessings from Thailand,
Susan